ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
