yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
