Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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