He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
