I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
