I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
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