im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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