So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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