In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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