I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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