You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
