Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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