if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
