You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
