id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
time to smoke my breakfast
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
