Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
