the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
