I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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