everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
