it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
