when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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