i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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