32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
