Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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