My nipple is on Facebook.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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