she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
