I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
