apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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