dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
