When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
