dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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