I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
