She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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