I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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