Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
