I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize