Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
