he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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