Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
