I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
