Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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