i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
