I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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