Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
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