So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
