office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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