you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
