No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
