The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
