I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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