they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
