I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
